Monday, March 28, 2016

How to Deal with Questions You Don't want to Answer.

Hello everyone!

So the past couple weeks I've found myself living life with a super stylish, stinking adorable wrist brace.

I'm kidding. It's ugly, clunky and a general pain.

(Also, typing hurts a lot so please don't judge if this is super short.)

It turns out I did not sprain it like I originally thought but instead I have this thing called Carpal Tunnel.

Basically a nerve in my wrist is pinched and it hurts a lot and my fingers go numb easily.

The thing is, Carpal Tunnel is really boring.
Like, painfully boring.
In a word, lameeeee.

So when people ask "hey, why are you in a super clunky wrist brace that doesn't really match anything you own." I'm not going to answer "oh, Carpal Tunnel" because that's lame!!

So I have a couple different answers that I want to share in case you happen to be in a situation that has an equally lame answer.

"Oh." *cough uncomfortably* "Wombat incident."

This by far has been my favourite answer.
You have to understand that a lot of people don't know what a Wombat is, so in order to use this answer you have to know that a "wombat is a like a mix between a Kangaroo and a Koala Bear."

Then, if you are asked "Where did you meet one of those?"  The appropriate answer is, "Oh, I was walking in the woods behind my house the other night and because it was dark, I couldn't see it when it attacked me."

This works for anything. Do you have a broken foot that doesn't have an interesting story? Wombat Incident. Concussion? Wombat incident.

And the answers people give you are hilarious! I had a guy ask me with a perfectly straight face "are you sure it wasn't a groundhog?"

I cried laughing! it was beautiful ya'll!

If you don't feel comfortable saying "Wombat incident," try some other random animal. I will suggest not using "Narwhal Incident." (Ask in the comments if you want that story. It's good.)

2. "Haha, you think this is bad? You should see the other guy."

Part of why this works is I am not really a fighter in general. Like, I work at a coffee shop, do media for a couple platforms and am just a geek.

So seeing a girl say "You should see the other guy" who is wearing pink lipstick and rosebud earrings.... Makes people laugh pretty hard.

And then you don't have to tell your lame story.

3. Be serious, but have it be something horrible.

"Oh. It was a house fire." *Sniffle,* "I was trying to rescue my dog and the burning timbers from the roof fell on my wrist." *Covers face in tissues whilst crying.*

4. Tell the total truth.

This is an option. You can do this. It's boring. But feel free to do it. In fact, you should use this option. The truth is always the best answer. Do this.

That's all I have for today! Please feel free to let me know how you guys deal with annoying questions that you don't want to answer.

~Rachel Joy

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