Yesterday

Yesterday. A day that I'll never see again, and that I don't know if I want to see again.

A day of failures, struggles and heartache.

A day that I didn't clean my room, that I didn't fold my laundry and that I didn't help my mom when should have, that I was a failure.

 This isn't a name I've ever been called. No one has ever walked up to me and called me a failure, it's a name that I made of myself. It's the name I've called myself when no one was looking and the name I wear when I feel unworthy of the love of Christ.

It's the name I see when I look in the mirror and every time someone complements me.

The things I pile upon my head for the things I did yesterday are many.
The thing is, they are mostly in my head.

I'm the one who's the most disappointed in me.
I'm the one who feels the most unworthy, and I'm the one who fights myself the most, and the one who views my yesterday as a deep dark hole that I don't want to enter.

At the same time, I view yesterday as my biggest blessing. Yesterday was that mythical day when I was responsible, had a clean room and a budding social life.

"If only I could go back to yesterday." I unrealistically dream.

Write yesterday in your notebook, then turn the page.
It's ok to look at it in remembrance, but you live on a blank page called today.
Yesterday's pages are filled up, but today... today is a new day...

In Christ Alone,
~Rachel Joy