We Need to Have a Talk…
Ladies and
Gentlemen, we are going to have a very important talk right now. This talk
could change the course of your life forever, so I want you to pay very close
attention.
The reason
for this talk is that the weather in Mysmalltown has been amazing. It’s
been warm, pleasant, slightly muggy-but not so bad- and Miracle Apartment has
a deck. Not a very big deck, and there are three nails that one has to be very
careful not to step on, but it’s a deck nonetheless.
Because the
weather has been fantastic, instead classifying as the world’s most boring
human being and sitting inside in the air conditioning, I have been
sitting on this deck, breathing in the fresh Oklahoma air and listening to the
frogs.
It’s been
awesome.
Except for
one little thing. The people in the apartment underneath us smoke. A lot
actually. And it smells horrible.
So, every
twenty minutes I have to go inside because it smells disgusting and it gives me
a headache.
That
really puts a cramp in my style!
Like, “Hello!
Can you not see me enjoying life, and then you have to go ruin it by
polluting my nose and making my head feel like there’s a hippo living up in
there??”
So my very
important thing that you all need to listen to is this: Don’t smoke. Save your
money and buy chocolate or coffee instead.
You see,
when you share the horrible smell of smoke with me, it makes me have to go
inside and be a boring human being.
But
if you knocked on my deck and said, “Hey Rachel, would you like to share some chocolate
or coffee with me?” I would be like, “Yes! You are my new favorite!” You could
then sit down in the lawn chair next to me, and we could become very good
friends.
(It would be awesome if you knocked on my deck and shared
chocolate or coffee with me. Just saying.)
Really, I have coffee, so you could just share the chocolate
and I could share the coffee.
See what I mean? The first option is not nearly as awesome
as the second one. Chocolate, coffee and a new friend! There is nothing
wrong with the picture that paints!
The moral behind this rant is: please don’t smoke.
The rest of your life, the people who will live in the same
apartment complex as you, and everyone else on Earth thanks you from the bottom
of their hearts.
“So you do not belong to yourselves, because you where
bought by God for a price. So Honor God with your bodies.” ~1 Corinthians
6:19-20
~Rachel Joy