Only One....

Please tell me I’m not the only one…

The only one who has patience problems.

The only one who has days spent staring at walls…

The only one who keeps thoughts in my own head.

The only who drops and breaks things,

The only one how is insecure

The only one who doesn’t know how to be still

The only one who is learning to be me…

I know in my head I need to be still and wait

But that’s so hard in my heart.

To know to be still and wait?

And to know it will all work out in God’s timing?

I have so many ideas and plans!

So many things I want to do.

But they overwhelm me…

So all I can do is stare…

I have crazy thoughts.

Thoughts that could maybe change the world.

But I’m scared…

Scared to let them out, and about what people will say.

I don’t like to think of myself as insecure.

But the truth is that I am.

I don’t tend to think that I’m all God has created me to be.

And I don’t think that my talents and abilities are all that big of a deal.

Being me… The weird writer that I am…

Who hides behind a camera and a pad of paper.

Hiding behind things that can wait…

So that I don’t have to be me.

Being still… and not running from one thing to the next.

Not breathing in the grace and peace that I need to survive.

Not waiting on the truth.

Am I the only one?

The only one who is scared to surrender to all that I know God has made me to be.

The only one who things there is no way I can live up to what I have been called to do

But also….

The only one who can do what I have been created to do.

I am the only one who can speak life into the people that I can...

I am the only one who thinks the way I do.

I am the only one who can be me.

So I should probably do that.

I should just be me.

Because I’m the only one who can do a lot of things…

Because I am made unique and individual.

And I think I’m ok with that.

~Rachel Joy